Idiots and adverts

What is it with these auto redirecting adverts? I'll just be browsing a website, definitely innocently, and then find myself in the App Store. It makes me have some doubts as to the sanity of the developers, to be perfectly honest, when they think that will work. I amuse myself to think how that proposal went down at a committee meeting.

Idiot 1: You know what will really make people want to download our app?

Idiot 2: What?

Idiot 1: We could offer them a brilliant game with depth and graphics and blood and awesome.

Idiot 2: Don't be stupid, that'll never work.

Idiot 1: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Idiot 3: I have an idea

Idiot 2: Hmm?

Idiot 3: Why don't we force them to go to our download page like an overeager prositute jumping into a normal conversation and shouting f*** me?

Idiot 2: Brilliant! You're promoted. Idiot 1, you're fired.

Vaccines, bin liners and zombies

 This afternoon, I went to the local NHS to have my Hepatitis A vaccination, possibly saving me from painful death in China, so I guess that's a plus. Although there isn't much time for deep thought while someone jabs a needle into your arm, I did go to Morrison's afterwards to get bread, bin liners and chocolate Weetabix. Having never bought bin liners before, there was an excess of time for me to do my deep thinking, which I have been informed is closer to a zombie impression, while I traipsed down every bloody aisle. While, during that time, I didn't have a Eureka moment, I can now go "nuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrgggggghhhhhh" really convincingly.

Stairs

While I wouldn't say that falling down to stairs is particularly pleasant - or good for you (though in the cases of some people perhaps it would be) - I like to think that it is a rather enlightening experience. The head first heap at the bottom of the stairs is an excellent place for reflection and decision making, which renders it my daily meditation of sorts. In one such heap: one that was particularly difficult to extricate myself from, having managed to get my leg stuck through an arm, which in turn had made itself at home in the neck hole of my T-shirt, I had an idea. Moving stairs.

Yes! Exactly like-    Oh...

Unfortunately, in a less concussed state of mind I became aware that this already existed, therefore learning one of life's most useful lessons: falling down stairs is stupid.

Human bowling and death

Having watched some of Devinsupertramp's videos on YouTube, I've decided I want to do something cool with my life. Unfortunately, having already planned my life, I can't think of many gaps where I could fit something like that in. My 80's maybe, if I live that long? Sometimes I think that dying could really bugger up my life plans, but then I realise that I won't really care. I like to imagine myself as the kind of ghost that grumbles about the weather from beyond the grave. Woo-ooo, bloody rain.

Well, I just started a blog

I don't know why I've started a blog. God knows my life is the least interesting thing since that story my sister told me about her friend being allergic to apples. 28 minutes she managed to drag that premise out to, though arguably most of it was "so"s and "um"s and "well"s. But I digress, I've started a blog. Actually, I'm starting to think that the apple allergy is the more interesting of these topics. I'm reading a book at the moment, and the main characters are pretty witty, much like I imagined I'd be if I started a blog. Apparently not. Bear with me, nobody (as if anyone is reading this), and hopefully this will not remain as the rambling, topicless, piece of junk it is.. well, unless "rambling topicless piece of junk" is any good...?

And, yes. I did just go and take a picture of an apple. The things I do for this.